Saturday, December 1, 2012


Thankful.  That's a word I just don't use often enough.  Though I have so many things I am thankful for, sometimes it's just hard for me to see through the everyday stresses to stop and recognize them.  I've always viewed myself as more of a pessimistic person.  I am very aware that this is not the most healthy way to view live, but I also feel it makes me more of a realist and honest (even when I shouldn't be) person.  This year, I took the that time to think about all that I am thankful for.  While laying in my closet (yep, go ahead and call me crazy- it's my quiet place, my alone space, and the only place I could lay my head for a bit as all of the beds were made perfectly for the guests that were about to arrive), I thought wow- I am blessed.  The lists goes on and on of everything I have and how everything in my life could be different- some good and some bad.  But this year, what I am thankful for is simple- everything and everyone.  For every stressful moment in my life, there is a good.  It might be buried deep, but finding the damn silver lining is what I have trying to do.  So in the middle of bathing my screaming two year old, I think, I'm blessed to have a warm home and running water to bathe him.  Back to laying the middle of my closet on Thanksgiving day, I hear that little voice I hear all too often "Mom- where are you?"  Several thoughts run through my head... First, well, shit, he found my hiding place.  Second, when did I become just mom?  Third, this floor is incredibly uncomfortable.  That little voice quickly found his way to the door and opened it up.  Of course after looking at me like a crazy person and probably thinking, what is she thinking, he quickly walked right in and got right down next to me.  Looked me face-to-face and said "We gonna go to sleep in here?"  I held him so close that I could feel his sweet breathe on my cheek and thought, this, this is what I'm thankful for.  My crazy life, my dysfunctional family, everything, everyone.  I'm, for once in my life, just thankful.