Before having a child, there were several (honestly, tons) of things I SWORE I would not do as a parent. It's funny now looking back at my “pre-parenting” self and thinking… oh my, you knew nothing. I sure thought I knew it all- judging others parenting techniques, asserting my opinion (when let’s be honest it wasn’t always wanted), and swearing to myself how I would NEVER, EVER let that be me.
A year (well, almost 13 months now to be exact) into this whole parenting thing, I’m pretty sure I’ve broken most, if not all, of my “parenting 101 rules.” I guess it’s just time to admit, I am in fact not always right and dang it, sometimes you just would do ANYTHING to get a little piece a quiet.
1. I will NEVER let my child make a ridiculous mess at a restaurant. UM- as long as he isn’t screaming, he can do basically anything he wants (and you will find me on my hands and knees trying to pick it all up before I leave.)
2. I will NEVER let my child eat processed food/ dinners. HA- this one literally makes me laugh. After both of us work all day long, the last thing I can think about doing is coming home and making some fancy dinner. I know I am still going to receive some judgment on this one from all of those moms who still live by there “I SWEAR I WON’TS,” but Preston loves him a good bowl of spaghetti-os and freshly zapped turkey dogs, and I would feel terrible taking that away…
3. I will NEVER let my child sleep in my bed. WELL- the first 2 weeks of Preston’s life, he slept in his pack in play right by our bed. The next 2 weeks, he moved in right in between us. Let me be honest- it was the worst 2 weeks of sleep. EVER. Trying to not move an inch with 3 humans and 2 dogs was just ridiculous. THEN my amazing aunt and uncle gave us a co-sleeper that attached to the outside of our bed (basically a pack in play with one side missing). It was like he was sleeping with us, but had his own little crib. It is a great invention, and I recommend it to just about anyone who wants to keep baby in there room. Because I nursed, it was so nice having him so close (i.e. a very sleepy momma didn’t have to actually even leave the bedroom nor remove herself from her bed). Then, after 5 months in our room (yes, 5 months), Preston moved to his bed. AND that’s where he has been ever since (don’t get me wrong, in about 3-4 moments of weakness <also known as waking up randomly in the middle of the night and extremely exhausted> I have tried to bring him into our room to sleep. BUT he just thinks it’s play time, so luckily for me, I have a child that doesn’t want to sleep in my bed just as much as I don’t want him there). Technically I have “followed” this rule, but there have been several close calls…
4. I will NEVER let me child watch television until they ask for it (and then it will be limited). Preston does not watch TV now- he’s too busy to even think about stopping to watch the boob-tube, BUT I am SO looking forward to the day he discovers it and enjoys it! How soon can this happen?
5. I will NEVER cuss in front of my child. I don’t think there is any explanation for this if you know me. Let’s just say, I’m working on this (and probably will be forever).
6. I will NEVER not change a diaper because I’m too busy doing something else. Now let me explain, it’s not like I make him wait around in his mess for hours on end, BUT if he does his business, it doesn’t mean I can’t finish my bowl of cereal or wrap up my facebook stalking before tending to it.
7. I will NEVER laugh when my child does something “bad.” Preston’s favorite thing to do when he starts his new fit throwing is to literally throw- anything and everything in his path. At first, I did laugh. Now, I’m worried we have a very strong child on our hands that, in fact, could be very dangerous.
8. I will NEVER drink a glass of wine and then nurse. Let me just tell you from experience, it doesn’t help them sleep nor seem to have much effect on them at all.
9. I will NEVER be the parent in the grocery store with the kid throwing the fit. Well, you can’t control everything a one year old does… and sometimes that is fit throwing. What you can control, is removing yourself from that situation and getting the heck out of the grocery store as quickly as possible (even if that means we didn’t get that weeks boxes of cereal and skim milk for dinner).
10. I will NEVER walk away from my crying baby. Sometimes, in order to stay sane, this is exactly what I have to do. It’s amazing what a deep breath and some distance can do to your stress level. REALLY!
11. I will NEVER buy off brand things for my child. TARGET brand diapers, wipes, puffs, baby soap, baby lotion, formula, and SO much more are great- and a great price too!
12. I will NEVER take a rectal temperature. I know, a little TMI, but to be honest, it wasn’t that weird and you get a much more accurate readingJ
13. I will NEVER let my child’s baby book be on the back burner. I’ve worked on it once- when Preston was 6 weeks old. I have the important stuff written down, tons of pictures, mementos, videos, and all other things that need to be remembered- they are just not put together nicely in a book. That counts right?
And now- I will NEVER judge another mother or father until I have walked a mile in their shoes. You never know how you are going to react until you are in the moment. You can plan it out, you can write it down, you can preach it to the world, but it may not go exactly as you wanted it… and that’s ok. Being a parent has taught me so much about myself- how to appreciate the person I was and the person I have become. Every day is a new learning experience…. Should we do this or that? Is he sick? Tired? Hungry? Why didn’t we do this? How can we do that? BUT at the end of the day, through all of the smiles and tears, we have somehow survived… together.
